Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Have Bull’s Pen’s can travel!

Three months in Europe
with a stop over in Singapore.
Here I come!

I think I have remembered to pack everything.
Certainly anything remaining has been 
washed, polished and tidied away.

Well, maybe not in the study...
 I am not Wonder Women!
 I’ve been busy.

The house is clean, and all the sheets changed.
Car was washed, and I even vacuumed the soccer muddy car mats.
My yoga mat is rolled and stored
Surely I will be Zen enough, without yoga for the duration…

I have had appointments galore from the hairdresser,
to my mammogram.
I’m fit to leave!

The dog’s also had the right royal treatment.
He's been clipped, scrubbed and had his nails done.
Snap! Me too!
 Well if the Crazy Poodle gets a pedicure, 
then so do I…

He’s got a shiny new bling bone dog tag 
with new contact phone numbers
and along those lines, 
I’ve told Security, not to phone me when the house alarm goes off
because a spider has walked across the sensor.
Although, thinking about it, it's unlikely 
as I've dusted all cobwebs away...

Does anyone else do this, before a holiday?
Go into manic, overdrive & leaving
a house that is neater, cleaner, tidier than normal?
I thought I'd remembered everything...

AND then I remembered the dog food!
Rats! I am happy to leave the kids no food
they are all adult enough to fend for themselves,
but Mutt, well he’s a different story!

So off I trot down to our local Pet shop
Where a very nice young man 
suggests a new all Australian dog food ‘Meals for Mutts’ 
I take a humongous sack of salmon and sardine, 
good for his coat!

We’ve just got enough time to introduce it gradually, 
to avoid any potential for an upset stomach…
Ha, it never crossed my mind just to leave him with the big bag 
and trust to luck, 
The dog’s got gastro! 
That would be a good family test...

Yes, I'm the only one going on this little adventure...

‘So what about toys or chews? 
I need to keep him happy and entertained, 
I’m gone a long while…’

At this stage I reckon if your vegetarian, vegan, 
or a just wee bit squeamish, 
then I’d flick to your next blog… 

And even if you’re none of the above,
 I do apologise for what you are about to read…


Yes, I’d recommend this bag of Bull’s penis’, 
the shop assistant says, looking a tad embarrassed.
Pardon?’ I say? 

Wondering whether what I thought I’d heard, 
was correct?

I mean surely if this was in the UK or America, 
they’d be a Ma'am or Madam, 
in there somewhere round the P word?

‘It’s bulls penis’ 
he repeated slowly, 
as if I was hard of hearing, although still whispering!
'There’s twenty in the pack and the dogs really …'

I can’t remember what he said next, 
as I’m studying the packet intently.
It doesn’t say that on the packet’, 
I say doubtfully looking at the Bullie Stick label…

‘Yes, well, 
If they called it bulls dicks 
no-one would buy them, would they?’

Oh my golly gosh. 
The language of the youth of today!

There wasn’t really any answer to this, 
except what I ended up saying
and for some reason,
 I drop all attempts at an Aussie accent
and in my best British voice reply:

'Oh, I see. 
Thank you very much, 
I will have a packet of those as well!'

So I’m sorry to have (yet again) lowered the tone 
you'll see why I had to doctor the 
‘Have Bulls Pens, can travel‘ headline
You see if I’d have used the word PEN…..IS 
I’d have got all sorts of undesirables visiting my blog.
I’m so glad it’s just you, me and the dog, 
I knew you’d have a giggle!

Here, have some Singapore orchids to brighten your day!

So all sorted 
Let the adventure begin

Next stop Singapore!

Linking with thanks at 

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